Thursday Thoughts

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When I was 13 years old, I decided that I was going to be an architect when I grew up. Like many of the great architects of our time, I played a zillion hours of Sims. I was obsessed with designing and building my Sims' homes. I would study house plans out of library books and browse realty websites to get inspiration (this was before pinterest). I was a weird 13 year old, but in my mind I was destined to be an architect. Flash forward another 13 years, I sort of am one now. I did the whole architecture school thing and loved it for the most part. But after working a few years, my love for architecture has sort of fizzled. It has been something that I have been struggling with the last 2 years... is this what I really want to do with the rest of my life?

I have a love/hate relationship with architecture. Reuben is an architect and he's my favorite person in the whole world/my favorite architect. And the majority of my best friends are architects or designers. But architects have an unfortunate tendency to get real pretentious real quick. I struggled with controlling my eye rolls with professors or other students when I was in studio. It's hard to explain if you didn't go to architecture school, but there was just a way we spoke about design that made it so unrelatable to anyone who wasn't an architect. Our highly conceptual and theoretical designs were so above everyone else that no one who would actually experience the space could understand or enjoy it. It would, and still does, frustrate me so much. Once I left school, things got a little better because I got to work on real projects that would be occupied by real people. Designing beautiful things for real people, and making them happy, is the simple reason why I had wanted to be an architect in the first place.

That goal hasn't really changed, but I think the method that I want to do that has definitely shifted. I want to create things that bring joy to people's lives and I think that may be through food and art. Architecture might find it's way back into my dream eventually, but right now nothing feels more right than making art and food for others. This past Sunday, I participated in my very very very first craft fair. This might not seem like a big deal, but it was huge for me. This was the first time that all my works would be out there in the real world together. It was also the first time that I got to see real people, who weren't my friends or family, react to my work. I was nervous that no one was going to buy anything! But then they did! I was so shocked and overwhelmed by how much I actually sold and how people reacted to my cute-to-me designs. It was crazy. I met a lady at the very beginning of the event and after a few hours she came back to tell me that she thought I had the best booth in the place! I almost cried. A few people who follow me on my Instagram came out to meet me too, which was so surreal and so cool! Thank you, thank you, thank you! It was such a wonderful day. I only had one internal freakout when I really needed to pee, the wind was blowing super hard, and I was trying to make a sale while keeping everything from flying away. But Reuben came back to help me and I was okay again. My heart was so full I thought it was going to burst. I want to feel that way about my work everyday.

Engaging with real people, talking about food and art, showing the world what I love doing, and being out in the sunshine is what I was meant to do. What career path is this? It just felt SO RIGHT. Like this, this moment, is what I should be doing with my life. Have you ever felt that way? Looking back on my relatively small moment this weekend, I was so thankful to have been reminded of what truly makes me happy. So where does this leave me now? I'm not exactly sure. I know that I'm going to keep giving my all to all the millions of things that I do, including architecture. But I also know that I feel so inspired to continue creating genuine, thoughtful, innovative, and joyful work and food for the world.

I do a lot of daydreaming. Recently, I've been dreaming of where I want to work in the future. I want to be working for myself for sure and own a sunny, light filled studio that functions as a test kitchen, event space, and painting studio. I'll photograph, develop recipes, blog, paint, and entertain people everyday. Doesn't it sound pretty nice? Once my doors open, you'll be the first to get an invite : ) There will be snacks.

Sorry there isn't a recipe this week. Life happens. But I'll be back next week with some seriously delicious posts! I'm ready to get back into the kitchen and test out all the Fall recipes that have been dancing around my crazy head. I got soups, dumplings, and cakes on the brain.

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