Do you ever get a weird sinking feeling stuck deep in your chest and no matter what you do or how many calming matcha lattes you drink you just can't shake it??? That's what anxiety feels for me. Actually this time, it sort of feels like I'm suffocating and stuck in a room with a million doors but none of them can open right now. Anxiety hits me in great big waves. When it's not hovering over me, I feel like the happiest person in the world. In my natural non-anxious state, I like to think of myself as a sunny and overly positive person. But then every once in a while, it just crashes down on me and it takes few days for me to bounce back. I'm honestly not a fun person to be around when I'm feeling like this. Sorry, Reuben.
My anxiety could be triggered by a whole bunch of things. It could be from an exhausting or unproductive week of work. I hate not having anything to do... it literally drives me crazy. Or it could be from experiencing a creative block with my art or developing recipes. Sometimes, it's from something dumb like posting a photo on Instagram and having no one "like" it. This time it's triggered by feeling super restless and unsure about everything that I'm doing. Like, what am I supposed to be doing with my life?!!
We all feel this way sometimes, right? Tell me I'm not the only one!
In an attempt to help get this anxious feeling out of my chest, I try my best to relax and find some hippy dippy internal peace. I take a break from developing recipes and just cook without any intent of photographing or styling. I let myself clock in some extra hours on the couch watching Netflix (we're currently watching Weeds!). I get Reuben to take me out to a new restaurant for some recipe inspiration. I try to sit outside on my lunch break, alone, breathe, and reassure myself that this is exactly where I'm so supposed to be. Hopefully this weird feeling is over in a few days because I need to get out of this funk and back into the kitchen.
Apologies if you didn't sign up to hear about the lows and only want to know about the fun things I do on the weeks or the random recipes I whip up in my kitchen. About 95% of my life and blog are sunny and happy, thankfully. But as with everyone, there is always those days when you're not feeling 100%. If you're down for 5% that's not so sunny, thank you for listening : )
Let's brighten things up now, should we?!
*metaphorically opens the curtains and sunshine comes flooding in*
You know what also helps you get out of funk? A bright, sparkly, and fruity drink! Have you had shrubs before? It is a drinking vinegar made with sugar and fruit. It's super easy to make and is a great addition to cocktails. I personally like to just mix it with some sparkling water for a quick, pretty, and refreshing drink that makes you feel fancy on a Tuesday. I had some rhubarb shrub at the photography workshop I went to a few months back and I though it was magic. I have an affinity towards anything sour and tart. I love me some sour beer, pickled vegetables, and kombucha. You can make shrubs with pretty much any fruit! Don't use bananas, I think that would be pretty awful. I used red plums because our friend, Alex, has a ridiculous abundance of plums from his tree and I'm doing my best to help a friend out! I also recommend that you play around with the types of sugars and vinegars. Maybe throw some herbs in there! Get fancy with it.
I might actually make myself of spritzer right now!
1 lb pitted and chopped plums
2 cups white sugar
2 cups white vinegar
1. Combine plums and sugar in a bowl. Give it a light smash with a potato masher to help release the juice of the fruit. Cover and let the sugar and plum mixer sit in the fridge for 24 hours.
2. Mix in the vinegar. Cover and allow the shrub mixture to chill in the fridge for another 24 hours. You can allow this mixture to sit for a few more days if you want a stronger flavor.
3. Strain out the plums from the mixture and discard. Pour shrub into airtight glass containers and keep chilled in the fridge. Use shrub in cocktails or mix with sparkling water.
I make a spritzer using 1 part shrub and 3 parts sparkling water.